Hair Advice Needed!

Morning, folks! I have committed myself to walking 100 miles by December 31, 2009. In pursuit of that goal, my hair CANNOT be an issue. As much as I love my beloved Afro puffs, I need to put a shorter, wash-n-go hairdo into effect by the end of August. My ultimate goal is for my hair to be short enough for me to wash every two to three days yet still look feminine and classy for work and play. For those of you I haven’t seen in a minute, check out my profile pics on Facebook to see what my hair looks like now. I’ve had the same length for about nine years.

My initial thoughts are to cut the back and the sides down to about 1 ½ inches and to leave about 2 – 3 inches of hair on the top. I’m also thinking about cutting it to about 2 inches all over my head and getting a texturizer. I’m open to other ideas, especially from my fellow divas with short hair.

Your advice is gladly welcomed and needed! Thanks, folks!

How Great You're NOT

When I’m not on Facebook or creating posts for this blog, I actually do work as a book editor for an educational company in the DC Metro area. Typically, it takes about nine months for a book to go from being a pile of paper on my desk to becoming an actual product that people can buy and read. Nine months is a long time to get attached to one project, and after awhile, I really start to treat my books like my babies. I become very cautious about who gets near my womb and tries to disrupt their development.

During the process of developing our books, we make time for a fellow editor to provide a critique of our books to ensure that we are creating the best possible product. For the most part, I really like this process because I like to hear from my fellow editors just how great my book project really is and what a great job I’ve done with it up to that point. So, I recently released one of my babies from my cubicle and allowed one of my fellow editors to begin the critiquing process. She took a few extra days to finish her critique, and I began thinking, “When she gives me my book back, I am REALLY going to find out what an AWESOME editor I am.” Boy, did I set myself up for the shock of a lifetime. When my baby came back to me, it was covered with a sea of Post-Its notes and editing marks up the ying yang. To say that I was HOT was an understatement. How dare my co-worker tear down this project that I had already worked on for six months! Didn’t she understand how brilliant it already was? I didn’t need her telling me how to fix my baby just before I was going to release it to the world.

In another part of my life, I’m taking several classes to discover more about me and my personal power. During one of my classes, the seminar leader said, “We don’t become more powerful by learning from what we already know. We grow from learning what we DON’T know.” Oh…my…God! Here I was PISSED at my co-worker for pointing out several errors in my latest book project, and I was this close to missing the blessing that she was providing for me – the opportunity to learn how great I was NOT so that I could create a better book and become a better book editor. When she first gave the book back to me, I just looked at that Post-It covered stack of paper with anger and disgust. After I got this revelation, I couldn’t wait to get back to my desk, read EVERY Post-It, and soak up all the lessons that she gave to me.

If you are like me, I’m sure you love to hear other people tell you how wonderful, beautiful, amazing, and fantastic you are. We can all spend days basking in the glow of how terrific we really think we are. But God forbid if anyone comes up to us and tells us how great we are NOT. We will cause heaven and earth to split wide open if anyone dares to tell us that we are really nasty, selfish, inconsiderable, and evil. Our ego can’t handle that kind of truth. Even though it hurts like hell to hear, my friends, I come to tell you that our faults and shortcomings are the greatest things that could ever happen to us. And when someone has the courage to tell you how great you are NOT, push your ego aside and be open to the gift they are giving you. When you allow the gift of your un-greatness to come into your life, your world will never be the same.

As I was thinking about this blog post yesterday, I began singing of one of my favorite hymns “How Great Thou Art.” I almost threw myself into hysterical fit when I replaced the words of that song to “How Great You’re NOT.” The more I laughed, the more I realized that when we go through life and think we have it all together, we miss the opportunity to learn how to be even better than we were before. Even though my ego is not looking forward to it, I can’t wait to get another present.

Friends, I hope you get some unexpected gifts today.

(A HUGE shout out to all the prego ladies in my life who inspired the baby analogy in this posting. I CANNOT wait to meet these little people who are already creating ruckus from inside the womb. LOL!)

TCL: Taking Care of Linen

I actually have a question for my beloved readers this morning -- How do you take care of your summer linen at home? I had the pleasure of purchasing two great new linen pieces this summer: a full white linen skirt on SALE (!!!) at Ashley Stewart and a linen top with a mandarin collar at the Goodwill. (Shout out to my lunch buddy Adriane for our chauffering our lunch excursion to find the Goodwill with the nice plus-size section. :-) I recently took both pieces into the dry cleaners and came out with a bill for almost $25!!!. There is NOTHING fabulous about that. So, how do you divas take care of your summer linens at a reasonable price? My wallet thanks you in advance.

I CHOOSE!

I Choose/To be the best that I can be/I Choose/To be authentic in everything I do/My past don’t dictate who I am /I CHOOSE!! – India.Arie

I had the pleasure of (finally!) seeing one of my favorite contemporary artists, India.Arie, in concert this past weekend. All I can say is that she was BEYOND amazing. Not only did I enjoy her voice, but I appreciated her presence and what she stands for as an artist and a woman. On top of that, I was very pleased to see that her background singers were two gorgeous, plus-size, voluptuous divas who could really SANG! The highlight of my evening was hearing India sing my absolute favorite song by her, which is “I Choose.” After the concert, I began thinking about the power of choice and how I could continue building the courage to create my life more powerfully.

I am woman enough to say that I had a little moment during that concert. John Legend, who was equally amazing and delightful to look at and lust over, was the headliner for the evening and I was enjoying his set until he started to sing his song “Slow Dance.” I would have been perfectly fine if he did not encourage all the fellas in the building to grab their ladies and pull them close. My exquisite evening for one was slowly unraveling as I had the stark realization that there was no one for me to slow dance with at that moment. I let the funk get a little cozy with me for awhile, but then I had to quickly catch my thoughts and make the choice not to wallow in my singleness. I had to make the choice to be grateful for the money that God gave me for the ticket, gas, and fabulous outfit and make-up to get me to the concert. I had to choose to be glad that there would be no booty call expected from me at the end of the night for the price of my concert ticket. Instead, I chose to be glad that I had the opportunity to listen to two of my favorite artists and spend time with my favorite person on the planet – me.

Some choices are easier than others. I love choosing which shade of eye shadow I will wear for the day, but I’m not always so fond of stepping up to the plate when a confrontation comes my way. I love choosing to get down on some good home cooking, such as my sister Wanda’s mac and cheese, but I’m not fond of what the scale will say if I don’t balance out a rich meal with a few laps around the track. We all have choices to make every day. We can choose to let someone piss us off, we can choose to allow someone’s opinion affect us, we can choose to be ruled by the scale, and we can choose to live our lives far below our God-given privilege. But, we can also choose to ignore people and opinions that are not worthy of who we are, we can choose to live healthy lives on our own terms, and rise to the greatness that God has placed inside each and every one of us. I wish I could report that the tough decisions get easier as I go along (no such luck!), but I am glad to have the growing wisdom and knowledge to make better choices and to know that I can choose to make each day better than the last.

May your day be filled with the CHOICE to be all that God has made you to be!

Stripes Rule Everything Around Me!

Every time I hear a so-called fashion expert throw in his or her limited three cents about plus-size fashion, he or she will always point out that big girls should never wear stripes. (Yes, I’m looking at you, Stacey London. I broke up with “What Not to Wear” two seasons ago. Stacey is just ridiculously mean and she and Clinton give the same advice over and over again!). I LOVE big, bold, and beautiful stripes and I believe that ANY woman can carry them off if she knows how to do it right. Now, I don’t want anybody, lean or plus-size, walking around with a striped maxidress from the early 90s (think Janet Jackson’s “That the Way Love Goes” or Salt-n-Pepa’s “Shoop” videos), but you shouldn’t fear adding a few stripes to your wardrobe when the mood hits you. In today’s post, I will give you a few of my rules about sporting stripes and show you some classic and trendy ways to wear stripes with confidence.

The Stripe is Right

When selecting a striped piece for my wardrobe, I use the following guidelines to help me pick pieces that will flatter my figure:

Horizontal Stripes: Horizontal stripes need to be wide and uniform across the entire garment. I like for my horizontal stripes to almost look like neat, tidy paint samples. (That’s my obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) talking. Don’t mind her!) The one area that I will agree with the fashion experts on is wearing a top with horizontal stripes across your bust line. You do NOT want to create a uni-boob! I do, however, like stripes that fall directly under the bust line like in this beautiful color block dress from Igigi ($138.00). This fun and flirty tie-dyed striped dress from Ashley Stewart ($49.00) is also a nice way to wear horizontal stripes tastefully.







Vertical Stripes: Vertical stripes are a little bit kinder to plus-size gals and they can be worn either wide or skinny. I especially love a good pinstriped or seersucker pant or jacket for the summer. The only caution I have about vertical stripes is when the pattern includes too many colors. A stripe can quickly go from good to bad when it is swallowed by a rainbow of color. I don’t want any of you to look like you escaped from the circus! These pinstriped gaucho pants from Lane Bryant have a perfect balance of thin vertical stripes ($49.50) and are a classy addition to your professional wardrobe.









Diagonal Stripes: Diagonal stripes can also be worn both thin and wide. These stripes are perfect for tops and blouses because they take attention away from the bust line and help to create the illusion of a small waistline. Similar to vertical stripes, you also want to be cautious of diagonal stripes with too many colors. This blue, black, and white dress from Lane Bryant ($69.50) is a perfect example of good diagonal and vertical stripes used well together to highlight this model’s beautiful pear shape figure.

When Good Stripes Go Bad

The following stripe patterns should be avoided at all costs:

• Super thin horizontal stripes (Creates a bad optical illusion for plus-size figures)
• Multicolored vertical stripes (I hear the circus calling!)
• Sailor stripes (The worst uni-boob maker EVER!)
• Horizontal stripes on a pant or skirt (Save this pattern for your PJs ONLY!)
• Squiggly stripes (Only Charlie Brown can rock the squiggle stripe)
• Stripes with animal print (Just say NO!!)

Don’t let anything stop you from showing your stripes. Wear them BOLDLY, ladies!

Until next time,

Stay curvy and fabulous!

Becoming a Transformer

When my brother Thomas and I were in elementary school, we spent almost every morning watching “The Transformers” before we went to school. (He swears that he let me watch my girly cartoons, but I have no recollection of any equality in our AM cartoon routine). For the first few moments of the show, I would be annoyed because I didn’t get to watch what I wanted to see. But somewhere after the first commercial break, my whining would cease and I would be captured by the amazing world of the Autobots and the Decepticons. I loved when they made the “chuucka chuucka” sound when they would transform and I secretly wished that I could become the yellow bumble bee car. I never let on to my brother that I really liked the show (I’ve got a 30-year streak of not admitting when he is right. Why stop now?). Now that "The Transformers" have gained popularity again, it made me think more about how we have the power to be Transformers in our own lives every day.

As creatures of habit, we all get easily stuck in bad routines, poor choices, tumultuous relationships, and destructive thinking. Sometimes we get real cozy with our adverse situations and give up the possibility of turning things around for the better. Four years ago, I began what I thought was an innocent relationship with Chipotle burritos. Sure, they looked healthier than the Taco Bell burritos I grew up with, but these puppies were packing some serious calories behind that tortilla. It almost broke my heart when I learned that my beloved chicken burrito with black beans, rice, corn, sour cream, and salsa verde was a whopping 1,100 calories! Why God why? Although I am making light of my obsession with Chipotle, the reality of the heavy caloric values of many of my favorite fast foods made me begin to take a closer look at how I was thinking about food and my health. I certainly enjoyed the taste of my beloved treats in the moment of consumption, but they weren’t valuable enough for me to continue piling on more pounds and stealing away precious years from my life. Making healthy food choices is still a transformative process for me with EVERY single bite I take. But I am willing to do the work to transform into healthier, longer living Leah for me and the family and friends that I love. My ultimate goal is to transform into a hot 90-year old diva with a sharp tongue and a quick wit to tell folks like it is. There’s no burrito in the world worth me missing out on that gift.

One of my favorite Bible verses is “Be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind” (Rom 12:1-2). We have the power to use our minds to choose to transform into anything that we want to be. We can make the choice with every thought to be healthy, courageous, thoughtful, loving, innovative, sexy, kind, brilliant, and any other qualities under the sun that will help us to fulfill our God-given talents and purpose. There are many days when Chipotle still calls my name. However, my greater goals are bigger than succumbing to 1,100 calories. For me, making healthier food choices may not immediately be as dramatic as transforming from a robot to a hot sports car, but I am praying that each small choice I make will help me to transform from ordinary to EXTRAORDINARY!

Wishing you a blessed day of TRANSFORMATION!

Hip Hop Designers Who Love The Big Girls

It is always a pleasant surprise to stumble upon mainstream designers who have a chic and sexy line of plus-size clothing in their collections. I found the cutest black bubble dress from Baby Phat over the weekend and I went on a hunt for other hip hop designers who have love for the big girls. Here are a few sizzling treats from Baby Phat, Rocawear, and Apple Bottoms.

Baby Phat by Kimora Lee Simmons

This bubble dress from Baby Phat ($64.00) has sexy written all over it. I’m still working up my courage to unleash this one on a Saturday night. This sexy, tribal print maxidress ($79.00) is also a winner.

Rocawear by Jay-Z

I’m loving Jay-Z and his design team for this fantastic purple fringe dress ($69.00) and this super chic floral print dress ($69.00)

Apple Bottoms by Nelly

I’m not a fan of Apple Bottom jeans (Seriously, nobody needs to see two inches of my crack!), but I am a fan of the gorgeous brown and gold metallic dress ($58.65) and this adorable denim romper ($84.00).

Here’s hoping that these hip fashions will get you hopping in the right direction.

Until next time,
Stay curvy and fabulous!

Feel the Funk...And Keep on Livin' Anyway!

Anyone who knows me well can attest to the fact that I can find the bright spot in almost anything. From broken bones to busted zippers to no-good baby daddies, I can help you discover something to be grateful for in your situation. But when it comes to me, I always believe that I should be immune from life's crap. Instead dealing with a rough patch, I try to skip over it, make it pretty, or pretend that it doesn't affect me. It doesn't take a palm reader to predict what happens when we try to skip over life's lessons.

Today's lesson (still in progress!) is to learn the value of making mistakes, saying something wrong, or doing something offensive. If I don't feel the pain of being imperfect, I won't learn how to perfect my imperfections. If I don't accept the not-so-good days, then I won't be able to celebrate the days of my life that really rock. If I never skin my knees, then I won't have the joy of soothing that pain with the ecstacy of finding a really great pair of jeans.

Ladies, feel your funk and keep on livin' anyway. We only have ONE life to live and it is our gift to enjoy ALL of it -- even when the gift comes covered in dog poo.

Wishing you a funk-free weekend! And if the funk does find you, dance with it and not against it!

Delicious Summer Wraps

Summer is definitely one of my favorite seasons of the year. However, I have never been fond of going from hot sweltering temperatures outside to Arctic frigid air conditioning inside, especially if I am wearing a sleeveless or short-sleeved top. If the temperature in your building rivals an Antarctic winter like my office does, you almost want to wrap yourself in a down comforter to knock off the chill. (I’m SO not kidding. You should see me and my girls breaking out blankets, sweaters, and wrap scarves every day). While I am especially grateful for my job and the abundant air conditioning that it provides, I’m also grateful for beautiful summer cardigans, shawls, and shrugs that keep me warm and fabulous. Here are a few delicious summer wraps that you can rock in the office, at the movies, on a picnic, or a night out.

I wear this beautiful Charter Club cardigan in black with almost everything during the summer. I have no idea why these cardigans are currently ONLY $4.99 (!!!). But, I strongly advise you to act like the lady in this IKEA commercial and just keep running towards the door.

The details on this beautiful cranberry shawl from Ashley Stewart ($24.99) make me all warm and tingly inside. I can easily see myself wearing this piece well into autumn.

How cute are these floral-print sweaters from Old Navy ($16.99)? I’m especially in love with the yellow print but I can’t deny the equally fabulous navy print if I tried. So fly!

I love that this sweater from Jessica London ($19.99) is both a shrug and a cardigan. Shall I call it a “shardigan”? It is mucho adorable and I love that it comes in a bevy of delicious summer colors.

Ladies, don’t get caught in the frigid winds of summer air conditioning without a proper wrap to keep you warm and beautiful. Bundle up!

Until next time,
Stay curvy, (warm!), and fabulous!

Underwire is NOT the Enemy!

Somewhere around the tender age of 13, I had the misfortune of trying on an underwire bra that was clearly the wrong size. It poked, it stabbed, and it almost robbed me of my adolescent sanity. I had never felt so uncomfortable in one piece of clothing in all my life. From that day forward, I promised my precious ta-tas that they would never ever be tortured by the likes of the demon called underwire.

For the next 17 years, I moved heaven and earth to find comfortable, wire-free, D-cup, plus-size bras (The more adjectives you add, the harder the search.). My search was definitely not as fun as the models in the Victoria Secret ads made bra shopping to be. And unbeknownst to me, I made my search even harder by limiting myself to wire-free bras.

But, yesterday I made a breakthrough. While I was at Lane Bryant’s Buy Two, Get Two Free Bra Sale, I decided to get my girls re-measured and see if underwire bras were still a tool from Lucifer’s Lair. After getting my proper size (44 DD for Double Dynamite), I decided to try on a hot pink underwire bra from Cacique’s Balconette collection. Alrighty, cup one, cup two, adjust the straps, and …what the heck? It fits AND it doesn’t hurt! When did that happen? Why didn’t anyone tell me how fantastic underwire bras are? Oh boy! I was on a roll now. By the end of that productive shopping trip, I ended up purchasing four new underwire bras.

What I discovered is that underwire bras are only the enemy if you are not wearing the proper size. On the rare occasions that I tried underwire bras over the years, the bras that I selected were either too large and sat uncomfortably on my rib cage or too small and pinched my breasts. Neither condition is desirable. When you are wearing the right size, the underwire in an underwire bra should fall right under your breast tissue. As you look into a mirror, your bra should lift your breasts so that they form one beautiful line between your shoulder and your elbow. As I mentioned in my previous post, “To Thine Own Breast Be True,” a proper bra fitting is essential for building a good bra collection and this advice is even more true when it comes to finding underwire bras that give you just the right support.

It feels weird for me to type the words “bra” and “liberated” in the same sentence, but I today I do feel liberated in knowing that I don’t have to limit my bra selection to just the wire-free section. I can now go forth and be properly uplifted! What a joy!

Until next time,
Stay curvy and fabulous!

P.S. Lane Bryant’s Buy Two, Get Two Free Bra Sale ends today (7/6/09). Don’t miss your underwire miracle!!

Fabulous Fourth of July Pampering

If you are like me, you probably get really excited about long holiday weekends and the possibilities of long hours of sleeping in, relaxing, and recharging. Instead, you end up spending most of your time catching up on overdue chores, returning phone calls to old friends, running to as many cookouts as you can hit in 72 hours, squeezing in a few moments to shop, and making a to-do list for the next long holiday weekend.

Before you begin your Olympic sprint toward an exhausted and burnt-out Monday morning, I’m challenging you to take a moment to pamper yourself this weekend. Whether it is reading a few chapters in a new book, watching a marathon of your favorite trashy reality show, or sleeping in for a few extra hours, make a vow to create a small window of luxury for yourself over the next few days. Here’s what’s on my list of Fabulous Fourth of July pampering this weekend.

Are You the Bomb?

Growing up, I was the queen of the 25-minute shower and the two-hour bath. You can imagine how well these water-guzzling hobbies went over with my eight other siblings. Now that I have a tub all to myself, I cannot wait to take a long soak with Lush’s bath bomb in Honey Bee. Lush’s bath bombs smell AMAZING and they make your bath water super soft. I’m also addicted to their bath bombs in Butterball and Vanilla Fountain.

For my fellow curvy divas in the DC/MD/VA area, you MUST visit the Lush Store on M St. in Georgetown. You can smell the deliciousness from a mile away. Pure heaven!

A Trip to Paisley Park

I’m a bit of an addict when it comes to collecting sets of jersey sheets for my bed. I just love the feeling of being cuddled by a soft t-shirt. I almost broke out into a mini-praise break when I found this adorable set of pink paisley jersey sheets at Target for...wait for it…$19.99!! Hallelujah!! I’m looking forward to catching a few more zzz’s in these paisley wonders.

The Pampering Bible

If you need more pampering ideas, I highly recommend Debrena Jackson Gandy's Sacred Pampering Principles. This book is full of wonderful and indulgent ideas for pampering your body and your soul. I found this book 11 years ago and I still call it my pampering bible.

Don’t let Sunday night sneak up on you with taking a few moments for yourself. Pamper yourself NOW. Your body will thank you. Have a FABULOUS 4th, ladies!!!

Until next time,
Stay curvy and fabulous!

Live Your Life Off the Wall!

I heard the title track from Michael Jackson’s solo debut “Off the Wall” for the first time at Morgan’s bookstore during my senior year of college. I was absentmindedly searching for snacks at the front counter and this song began pouring out of the overhead speakers. I was amazed that there were still Michael Jackson songs out there that I didn’t know and I immediately fell in love with the song’s funky disco groove and the infectious chorus.

So tonight gotta leave that 9 to 5 upon the shelf/And just enjoy yourself/Groove, let the madness in the music get to you/Life ain’t so bad at all/If you live it off the wall

Here are the lyrics that really got me --

Gotta hide your inhibitions/Gotta let that fool loose deep inside your soul/Want to see an exhibition/Better do it now before you get too old/ ‘Cause we’re the party people night and day/ Livin’ crazy is the only way

Talk about falling in love with a song at the first listen! I ran out to my nearest music store…well, who I am I kidding, you know fat girls don’t really run. Let’s just say I walked…OK, OK, I drove really quickly to find this CD. After finding it and playing this song for the 100th time, “Off the Wall” became the anthem for my life. I’m a person who always searches for quirky or unique elements about everything. If everybody decides to jump off a bridge, I’m going to try to jump off an even better bridge with sparkly lights. Yet, in the past few years working in the professional world, I allowed my life to go from off the wall to inside a confining box. I started to squelch some of my passion and fire because I didn’t want to offend anyone with my bold, colorful wardrobe, my loud laugh (which often includes snorting!), and my curiosity and wonder for life. I started putting myself into a neat and tidy cell and I was very close to just giving up a lot of the wonderful and quirky things that make me who I am.

When I became tired of being bored and frustrated with this mundane existence that I had created for myself, I decided that living a boxed in and restrained life was far from who I wanted to be. I became dedicated to living my life totally off the wall. I stopped caring about other people and what they might think about me and my choices. I was determined not to become yet another person who swallows their dreams for the comfort of others.

Like many of you, my heart was certainly heavy upon learning the news of Michael Jackson’s death last week. No matter what you thought about his life or his choices, he certainly lived his life off the wall. This is a man who definitely used the 50 years that God gave him to the fullest extent. I am honored to have been just a mere listener and admirer of the wonderful talent that he was.

It might not be your calling to create the greatest album of all time or to dance your way into the hearts of millions. But, it is your destiny NOT to live your life in a box. Try something new. Explore a new trend that you’ve never tried before. Give your number to that cute guy you’ve been flirting with since forever. Whatever it is and whatever it takes, LIVE YOUR LIFE OFF THE WALL!


And before we go, how HOT is this rainbow sequins party dress ($208.00) by Monif C? It is so TOTALLY off the wall. I need a really good reason to unleash all of this fabulousness on the world. Maybe at a good concert or next Tuesday at work? LOL!

Love you, Hot Mamas!

Until next time,
Stay curvy and fabulous!



I humbly dedicate this blog post to the life and incredible talent of Michael Jackson. Rest in peace.