It’s Not What They Call You….It’s What You Answer To

I was dying the other day after reading Jozen Cummings’s blog post on Essence.com titled “The Truth About Jump Offs.” While I was equally amused and outraged by his four points on optimizing a relationship with a woman strictly for “recreational purposes,” I was more entertained by the 100+ comments from irate readers who called this dude everything but a child of God. Many of the women expressed their outrage and felt degraded for being referred to as just that “side chick.” As I read comment after comment, each one angrier than the last, I remembered a classic piece of advice that I learned in grade school – “It’s not what they call you…it’s what you answer to.”

While I take pride in being a modern, 21st century woman, I’m very old fashioned when it comes to dating and relationships. The only names I will respond to in relation to a significant other are “girlfriend,” “fiancé,” or “wife.” Any man who even THINKS about referring to me or treating me as a “jump off,” “boo,” “wifey,” or “shawty,” should definitely think again. And, “baby mama?” Ain’t no way in hell I will be giving birth to anyone’s child without a marriage license and a rock solid commitment to God and me. But, these are just my standards, and I hold no judgments against anyone who chooses otherwise. Every person has their emotional and spiritual capabilities, and I know for me that accepting anything other than absolute and total respect from a man will have me in jail or a in an insane asylum.

At the end of the day, each woman has to decide what she will or will not accept from a man. If a man refers to you or treats you like a “jump off” or a “side piece,” it’s up to you to decide if you will answer that call. Don’t get mad if someone calls you outside of your name if you are allowing the actions or behaviors to occur. As women, I believe that each one of us has the responsibilities to set, and here’s the key, STICK TO our own standards. No man will have the power to disrespect you unless you allow him to.

Remember, it’s not what he calls you…it’s what you answer to.

P.S., If you need a good afternoon pick-me-up, Jozen’s blog “Until I Get Married” is HILARIOUS. Warning: It is equally offensive and entertaining. For me, he includes great information about what women should NOT do in relationships.