The Art of Piddling

Greeting from my favorite place on earth -- my couch. Yes, friends it is Vacation Day #3 and the living is easy. I had a whole list of things to get into today, but I decided that I just wanted to sit here and perfect the fine art of piddling. What is piddling? Taking time to do absolutely positively nothing and love every moment of it.

I used to feel SO guilty when my friends and family teased me about my marathon piddling sessions. It's nothing for me to watch TV for six or seven hours, soak in the tub for two hours, and sleep for at least 10 hours on a Saturday morning. As my life has become fuller and richer with new friends and awesome opportunities over the last few months, it's been a little harder to get in my piddling time. I also recognize that it's no small feat to get up every day and work, combat office politics, be present for friends and family, and manage to keep it all together. So, when I am blessed to have a stretch of a few hours to sit back and relax, I get my piddling on.

Pidding is refreshing, reviving, and necessary. I realize that I am speaking from the vantage point of being a single gal without the responsiblities of a relationship or children at this point in my life. But piddling time isn't just for single folks; it's even more crucial for those of you who are married with childen. Kick your hubby out of the house for an hour or two and make sure he takes the kids with him. Call up your single girlfriend and ask her to watch your kids for a few hours (Note: To my girlfriends with kids, not this week, tho. LOL!). We all MUST make sure we are taking the time to refresh our spirits by vegging out, having long phone calls with good friends, reading a good book in one sitting, or just sitting in our favorite chair and just being grateful for life.

Yes, you all can feel free to make fun of me on the 25th when my vacation is over. But for now, it's me, a bag of Pirate's Booty, a liter of Diet Dr. Pepper, and 20 hours of worth of my favorite shows on my DVR. Let the piddling commence!

P.S., Are you one of those folks who doesn't know what to do with your free time? Pick up The Art of Doing Nothing by Veronique Vienne. This is a great book full of great ideas for a day of piddling.

10 Years of of Happy Nappiness!

This month, I am celebrating 10 glorious years of my happy, beautiful, nappy hair. It took me a LONG time to find peace with my hair and to find styles and products that make my hair look and feel marvelous. However, my natural hair journey did not begin so smoothly. It actually began with a few...OK who I am I kidding, a LOT of tears.

I had worn a perm for almost 14 years, beginning with my first perm at age 7. My sisters Karen and Wanda spent many a Saturday laying down my roots and curling and frying my hair to perfection. However, their hard labor was often in vain due to my super thick hair resisting all perms known to mankind. It was like my hair looked at me and said, "Oh, you wanna be straight? Sike!" Me and perms never got along. Between the scabbing, itching, and my hair's inability to have that elusive white-girl hair bounce, I was done.

During the summer of '99, I attended at natural hair care work shop at Sibanye Bookstore in Baltimore. This was right around the time when Erykah Badu was uber popular and she and a few other famous women were making it cool to go natural. I began my natural journey by embarking upon the slow process of wearing two-strand twists that merged my natural hair and my processed hair together. The eventual goal would be that the permed hair would be cut off every four to six weeks until it was completely grown out. Anybody who has gone through this process knows that it is HARD to manage two COMPLETELY different hair textures. I couldn't wait any longer so....I decided to cut all of my hair off.

The day I cut my hair off, I was SO nervous. My stomach was rolling with fear. When I got to the salon to do the official cutting, I just closed my eyes and waited for the hairstylist to finish. When she was done, she and the other stylists raved about how great I looked. When she handed me the mirror, I was just shocked. My hair had never been so short. I was speechless. I went home and I cried. Hard. (If you need a REALLY good laugh, just ask my brother Thomas to recall how I ran upstairs to my room that night and immediately covered my head). After the initial shock, I grew to love the low maintenance of my natural hair. I loved that my head did not have to sting from harsh chemicals and that I did not have to fear the rain ruining my hair. I learned how to care for my hair in a way that is fun, creative, and liberating for me.

Ten years later, I am still in love with my natural, beautiful, nappy hair. I look forward to spending my Sunday nights puting my hair in my signature two-strand twists or releasing my twists and wearing my favorite super curly Afro or twisting my hair in flat braids or just putting on a head wrap and calling it a day. I've received more compliments in the last 10 years than I had in the previous 14 years when I permed my hair. I believe that those compliments are a natural extension of the love that I have for my hair.

As women of color, I know that we fight tooth and nail about how to wear our hair and all the politics that come along with it. I fully recognize and acknowledge that I am blessed to have come of age in a time when it is more acceptable to wear natural hair. I believe that every woman has the right to do what is best for her. As I write this blog today, I am currently wearing my hair pressed out. It's beautiful and wonderful that as women of color we can have so much versatility with our hair. I occassionally make jokes with my girlfriends who have perms and tell them that they need to say away from "the white man's box of poison." But, it's all in fun. I say that we should all find what works for us, whether it is a perm, weave, dreadlocks, or an Afro, and rock those styles that make us feel and be beautiful.

I'm including a few of my photos from my natural hair journey (Good Lord, my hair has come a LONG way!). I also list a few of my current favorite products. Enjoy!

My Hair Journey

• Left: Me (in the lime green sweater) with my TWA (Tiny Weeny Afro) - January 2000
• Center: One of my first sets of two-strand twists during college - March 2001
• Right: My Auburn Wanna Be Mary J. Blige Afro - November 2001 (Seriously, nobody loved me enough to tell me how wack that shirt was?)

• Left: My signature two-strand twists - New Year's Eve 2007
• Center: My favorite curly Afro - October 2007 ( I just love when I come into work the first day after I untwist my hair and, it NEVER fails that one of my white co-workers will say, "Your hair is so different today. What did you do to it?" Still makes me laugh EVERY time!)
• Right: Flat twists with a Afro puff - April 2006 (I just love the classic "Home Alone" expression from my co-worker's kid. Had to leave her in the picture!)

My Current Favorite Products

• Carol's Daughter Black Vanilla Leave-In Conditioner (I spray my hair with this right before I begin twisting my hair)
• Carol's Daughter Mimosa Hair Honey (LOVE this stuff! Great for setting twists and giving incredible shine)
• Nexxus Humectress Shampoo and Conditioner

I Fly Above!

Every week, I swear that I will not watch another episode of The Real Housewives of Atlanta. Then, about 30 minutes later, I give in and find myself hopelessly entertained by these insane women with WAY too much time on their hands. I've convinced myself that watching the show does make me feel better about my drama-free episodes of A Real Single Gal from Alexandria, VA. After watching catfight upon catfight, I was quite surprised to find a spiritual nugget in last week's episode.

I spent about a day and half last week trying to figure out how to form a better relationship with a team of my colleagues. I looked at this group from every possible angle. After giving myself a near aneyursm, I just gave up in a fit of frustation. Then, I went home and watched last week's episode of The Housewives and I was captivated by Kandi's new song "I Fly Above." I really loved the lyrics of the song which said

I'm so comfortable in the skin I'm in

I'm secure about who I am

So you can go ahead and talk all you wanna

I built up a shell and it's hard and it's armored

I fly above all the drama, I fly above, I fly above

It's beneath me, it's beneath me, it's beneath me

When I woke up the next day with that song still ringing in my spirit, I knew that it was the answer to my dilemna. That particular group of folks was not worth me getting down in the weeds and wasting my precious energy. Instead, I can choose to fly above that drama and give myself permission to just let people be who they are and not try to change them or change myself for them. How liberating!

Before you waste this beautiful, God-given day worrying about anything, pray about everything! Let God give you the wings to fly above whatever challenges you are facing today.